


Assorted Mass Effect 2 meme fics

by Ishmael



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Comment Fic, F/M, Gen, Humor, Mass Effect Kink Meme, My krogan bias is showing, Renegade Commander Shepard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishmael/pseuds/Ishmael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1: FShep and Garrus discuss Wrex. “I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Wrex.”<br/>2: Wrex and Garrus discuss FShep. "Word of advice: next time don’t block with your face.”<br/>3: Jack and Garrus discuss FShep post-ME2. “Don’t look so gloomy. At least you got to bang her before she left.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Wrex.”

Shepard can’t help but laugh at that. “You two did nothing but argue. And he always won.”

Garrus shakes his head, chuckling a little. “I haven’t forgotten. Don’t think I could—it still stings. But it was,” he stops, looks at her. “A very eye-opening experience. It says something about you, Shepard. That you can make a Turian and a Krogan work together.”

She shrugs. “People get along better with guns are being fired in their general direction. History doesn’t matter so much when there’s a common enemy to kill.”

“It’s more than that and you know it.”

“Yeah. There has to be some kind of killer joke you can make out of all this. ‘A human, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar…’”

Garrus cocks his head to the side a little. “What?”

“It’s an old human joke. A lot of variations would start with unlikely companions walking into a bar.”

“Humans have strange jokes.”

“Better than anything Grunt comes up with.”

Garrus groans. “Don’t remind me.”

“Maybe translators aren’t equipped for Krogan humor.”

“The humor I could take. The puns not so much.”

They laugh, quieting to several beats of comfortable silence. While many of her new crew members seem like good people she’s missed this, missed having a history and knowing bone-deep that somebody will always have her back.

“Spill. What’s got you thinking about Wrex, anyway? ”

Garrus starts pacing, crowding the small space of the main battery. “I knew where I stood with him. He couldn’t stand me but he put up with me for your sake, for defeating Saren. I not sure we could call ourselves friends, but I was glad to have him at my side.”

She asks because she wants to hear it aloud, not because she doesn’t know the answer. “You’d trust Wrex over Miranda and Jacob?”

“Any day.” There’s something resonant in the way he says it, solemn as a Justicar’s oath. She can’t even imagine what it takes for him to admit it in the first place.

“I don’t trust Cerberus—The Illusive Man even less—but they’re my only option right now.”

“I know, Shepard. And as much as I hate to give them credit for anything,” he stops pacing to look her in the eye properly. “It’s good to have you back.”

“You too, Garrus.” Her eyes flick to the scars, the damaged armor. Her stomach twists at the memory of how close it had been. ”You had me worried there, for a minute.”

His mandibles flare, voice deepening with amusement. “It’ll take more than a gunship missile to keep me down.”

“Let’s hope your luck holds out for the rest of the mission.” She pauses, unusually hesitant. “You sure you don’t want a new set of armor? That one is pretty beat up.”

He’s quiet for a long time, staring at the ship wall like it holds answers for the hardships he’s faced. “I like having the reminder.”

“You just like how it matches your face,” Shepard punches him in the arm, the joke forced but still effective in breaking the tension.

Garrus laughs, weak but genuine. “Wrex would say they’re an improvement.”

Shepard snorts. “He’d tell you not to block with your face.”

“That too.”

They both chuckle, curling toward each other until their shoulders brush. Shepard glances up, catching Garrus’s gaze.

_Commander Shepard, we’re about to arrive at the Citadel._

“Thanks, EDI.” Shepard grins, hiding her annoyance at the interruption. “So, how about we take Tali and go ride around in some elevators?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrex and Garrus discuss FShep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [here](http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/3083.html?thread=7117835#t7117835).

“You and Shepard, huh?” Wrex shakes his head. “She must have had some brain damage, dying like that. I thought she had better taste.” He gives Garrus a once-over. “Must be the new scars. Word of advice: next time don’t block with your face.”

“Good to see you too, Wrex. Welcoming as always.”

“You weren’t shot just for being here. That’s a warmer reception than most Turians get on Tuchanka.”

“I’m hurt,” Garrus chides. “I’d thought you’d meant it when you said you’d protect me on Noveria.”

Wrex belts out a booming laugh. “Just because I like you doesn't mean I won't kill you.”

“Point taken. But you must have a reason for bringing up Shepard.” Garrus shifts, tugs at the collar of his armor. “How did you hear about it?”

“You don’t get to be as old I as I am without noticing a few things about how people interact. There’s only so much staring I can give to mutual appreciation of sniper rifles.”

“Is this one of those protective posturing, break-her-heart-and-you’ll-regret it kind of things?”

“I don’t need to tell you you’d regret it. She’d kill you herself. I’d just piss on your grave when she’s done.”

“You’re never short on the charm.” Garrus laughs, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t happen, anyway. Not on my end.” He glances at the varren fighting pits where Shepard is loudly egging Urz on. “There is no human I respect more than Shepard.”

“Probably the only thing we have in common, Turian,” Wrex grunts.

The humor slides off Garrus’s face, voice quiet. “We have more than that. I never thought I’d be saying this, but—I consider you a friend, Wrex.” Garrus extends his hand.

There’s a long pause, long enough Garrus almost pulls back, before Wrex claps his hand around Garrus’s.

“Likewise.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Garrus discuss FShep post-ME2. Assumes knowledge of The Bring Down the Sky. Originally posted [here](http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/3710.html?thread=8184958#t8184958).

Garrus is in the middle of packing his few possessions when Jack drops in. They’re almost the last ones to leave before the Normandy gets handed back over the Alliance. 

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t look so gloomy. At least you got to bang her before she left.”

His fingers spasm with repressed anger. “Thanks, Jack. I feel much better about Shepard being in jail for killing thousands of Batarians and destroying a relay.”

There’s a long pause, long enough Garrus thinks she’s going to give up and go. No such luck.

“Hey,” Jack shoves his shoulder. “Don’t think you’re the only one affected by her dumping us, asshole. Shepard dragged you and me out of the gutter; more than anyone else on this ship I get it. I _get_ what Shepard waltzing in with her fuckin’ suicide mission and turning everything around is like.” Jack stalks back and forth, practically growling. “Look at me. I didn’t give a shit about anything; now I’m talking to some mopey turian who can’t get his head out of his ass.”

He can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “Jack, are you—are you trying to _comfort_ me?”

“Fuck you, Garrus.” She pauses in the doorway, voice soft and almost confused. “But yeah, I guess I am.”

From somebody else, the gesture would’ve been out of pity and irritated him. But empty sympathy isn’t even on the table with Jack. “Wait. I, uh—well.” Damn, he’s no good at this. “It was good working with you. Never thought I’d be saying that to an ex-con,” he shakes his head. “Well, Shepard got me to work with Wrex the first time around. I shouldn’t even be surprised. Especially not after Legion.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever, Shepard is a regular miracle worker. Bitch still ditched us.” Garrus can see the tension in the tattooed line of her back as she stalks back out the door. “When you see her again, tell her I’m gonna fucking punch her for that.” She grabs her duffle bag and keeps walking. “On second thought, don’t. Wouldn’t want her to duck something she deserves.”

He already has all his things, so he follows her out. No reason to put off leaving any longer. He’s already said his good-byes. “ _When_ I see her?”

“Don’t be stupid. Shepard won’t let a little thing like prison hold her back—not with the Reapers coming.” Jack smirks over her shoulder, “And you’ll follow after her as soon as you get the chance.”

He can’t help the fondness that leaks into his tone. “What can I say? I’m the loyal type.”

“You’re a decent guy.” Jack frowns at the wall as they wait for the airlock. “Don’t meet many of those.”

Garrus remembers seeing the cramped cells, the blood-stained walls that made up Jack’s childhood. Not a damn thing he can do about it, but he can’t help but feel _angry_. It isn’t right, that somebody like him counts among the better people she’s met. “Not sure if a vigilante like me would qualify, but—thanks.”

Jack slings her bag over her shoulder as soon as the airlock hisses open, walking towards the crowds. “Don’t die, Garrus. Shepard will need somebody to watch her back when she gets out.” Her voice goes thick with innuendo. “And I _know_ you’re good at that.”

“Try not to redecorate any more moons,” Garrus calls after her as she vanishes behind a cluster of asari.


End file.
